What's YOUR story?

How many times have you had this conversation:

-"Hey!" (Big smiles all around)

-"Hey, how's it going??" (Big smiles back)

-"Good, and you?"

-"Good, thanks!"

awkward pause....

-"That's awesome, I'm so glad to hear it."

-"Yeah, you too...well...I gotta run, I guess I'll catch you later! It was so great to talk to you again!"

If there's anything that frustrates me, it's how easy people cop out of actually caring.

Over the last four or five years, most of which were at Redeemer, I've realized that I know alot of people. I'm not unique, because everyone has lots of friends everywhere. I mean, how many hundreds of friends do we have on facebook!

So here's the question:

Why do so many people feel like they are on their own, alone in a world of billions of people, and can't understand why?

It's because we have too many conversations like the one above. Conversations that do just enough to sustain a relationship until the next time we happen to pass each other on the hall, and have the same conversation. We fill our quota of wall posts and text messages, just so that the next visit on our weekly encounters isn't that much more awkward.

One thing I'm learning is the invaluable experience of learning about someone's life. Knowing and asking about details, from the health of a family member to the most random activity they did two weeks ago, means so much to both you and the person you are asking. Who cares, really, what it is, but showing interest beyond filling our quota of encounters with each other, all of a sudden (surprise!) gives meaning to a friendship.

I think the thing that solidifies a relationship the most is time. Time spent talking, praying, laughing, and just hanging out has brought the most meaningful relationships into my life. Time shared through both trials and incredible experiences creates the desire to be in each other's company the next time something is going on.

This leads me back to that conversation...

If you've had a semi-decent conversation with me, you may have noticed I try to eliminate the opportunity for someone to say "I'm good" and then turn it back to me and ask how I'm doing. I try to ask, "What's your story?"

The looks I get from people when I ask that is quite funny. Alot of people are thrown off when they can't use their programmed, "Good" response.

I expand on it this way: "If someone was writing a story about you right now, what would they be writing?" All of a sudden the other person is forced to think about something that is actually going on (you'd be surprised how many people don't know). This opens up a conversation so much easier, and gives you something that helps you feel like you know the person better already.

Creating a platform that shows you genuinely care is essential. It's essential to the establishment and development of quality friendships.

Do I sometimes feel alone? Absolutely.

Do I regret the hundreds of times I walked down the halls at school and said "Good, and you?" to someone, and erased all the potential of a great conversation? Absolutely.

Next time you meet someone, ask them, "What's your story?"

Give it a shot... You might be surprised how many people still respond "Good", simply because we've programmed ourselves to answer that way after we hear certain audible noises come from someone's mouth walking towards us.

The funny part is when they catch what they just said:

-"Hey! What's your story these days?"

-"Good!"