Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The 'SPECIAL'

If you are taking the time to read this, I appreciate it... I don't blame you if you don't, it's brutally long, haha....but I encourage you to just read, and try to relate the last few paragraphs to your own life....

I may have just completed one of the most unique journeys that I wish everyone had the opportunity to be a part of. I've been out here in BC for over a month now, working with Athletes in Action, and last week I spent a few days with some other people here for the soccer project. We went through a series of lectures called 'Integrating Faith and Sport', and worked out some practical problems and solutions on the field thru training. The whole week culminated in the SPECIAL...an AIA trademark.

'S-P-E-C-I-A-L' stands for Spiritual Principles, Exhaustion, Confidence In the Almighty Lord. In a few short words, it is a 24 hour sport event, designed to kinda push the participants to their emotional, spiritual, and physical limits. The staff who run it relate the experience to the last 24 hours of Christ's life, and the suffering He went through. Obviously we will NEVER be able to compare our experiences to the anguish He went through, but as Romans 12:1 states, we need to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, and this is "our spiritual act of worship". As I look back on that verse, and the 24 hours we went through, I can think of more than a few times when my team and I had little choice but to stop and pray, asking God for strength, because there is no way we could do it on our own.

Beginning Sunday afternoon, after a 90 minute drive out to Hope, BC, we parked our cars and got ready for this experience. There were 5 or 6 staff that ran the event, and 8 of us who participated. We were split into two teams of four, and were to compete against each other throughout the series of events. We thought we had a small idea of what this journey would be about, but were still pretty anxious to see what was in store. Each event was worth certain points that would be awarded to the winning team.

The team: (left to right) Matt, Beth, Kayla, me:



We began with a mile run, which consisted of pretty much one big hill, up and down. Whenever we were running, our whole team had to hold on to an 8-ish foot rope, and carry our team soccer ball with us. We would be deducted points if anyone let goof the rope without specific permission granted from the staff. Naturally, both teams started out at a semi-sprint, with no concept of pacing ourselves, but the big hill slowed us up pretty quickly. My team passed the other team about half way up the hill, and we held them off at the finish, to claim the first event.

We ended up at a small beach and lake, with two small grids laid out, one for each team. We would now go thru a swim/running relay. One at a time, we would run to the lake, swim out to a buoy, turn around, swim back, and run a small route back to our team. Each of us did it three times, swimming in the cold lake, and my team pulled out the victory. After a 3 minute break, we went at it again, this time just two laps each person, and again, our team won.

The swim relay:


The next step was a juggling competition. In our grids, we were told to get ten consecutive juggles as a team, with each team member touching the ball. Every time the ball hit the ground before ten, two team members had to swim/run the lap before we could try again. It sounds pretty simple, but everything is more difficult when you're breathing hard and cold from the swim, and the added element of competition. My team soon realized that one of our glaring weaknesses was juggling, and ended up doing a whole lot more swimming then juggling, and the other team easily won that event.

We were then instructed to make our way back to the cars. It was a race, but we would be allowed to walk it if we wanted. Our captain made the wise decision to sacrifice that one event and recover while we walked back, rather than killing ourselves going back up and down that hill.

Once we were back at the cars, we piled in and drove to a nearby school's soccer field, where we would spend the next 4 hours or so. The first event was a team running event, where we had 90 seconds to run a full lap of the soccer field. We had to hold on to the rope, and make that 90 second mark every lap. Three of our team would run, while the fourth had to shoot in a smaller than normal goal, from four different spots. Each shot was at about 10, 20, 30, and 40 yards respectively, and after every shot you had to get ur ball, bring it back to the next spot, and keep going. If you missed, then you had to keep going from that spot until you made it. Once you completed the cycle, you had to run and catch ur team wherever they were at that point, grab the rope, and the next person would go. For the first part, we ran around the field until every team member had finished the shooting cycle. This took probably about ten minutes. The next part involved the same deal, except we didnt stop after one rotation of our team, we just kept going. Overall, it probably ended up to 45 minutes or more of trying to keep that 90 second pace around the field. For a few laps they gave us a 15 second grace, but that didn't last long, and every time we missed the 90 second mark we lost points. I'm not sure who won this event, (they didn't always tell us who won or not, they just kept the score to themselves) but naturally, we were pretty exhausted.

The next event, after a 5 minute break, was a shooting drill, which involved passing to a team member in a grid about 15-20 yards from the net. That team member laid it off, and we shot on a keeper from the other team. Every goal was a point. However, anytime there was a bad pass or a shot missed the net, our whole team had to go for about a 50 yard run to a set of cones, and back again. We had 10 minutes to score as many as we could. Our team shot first, and did well. Except for yours truly, who is not a shooter and definitely was responsible for about half of the team's runs, everyone scored a few goals. We switched, and I could contribute a bit more to my team, being a keeper....Each team had two ten minute blocks to shoot, and our team won 13-2.

The next event was a 1v1 ladder competition, where each of us faced off against the other team in a small field. The winner moved up to the 'higher' field, the loser moved down. Again, like the shooting, my gifts are definitely not in the 1v1 competition, so I wasn't too much help to my team, but this was a close battle, and I'm not sure who won.

I should take a minute to mention another responsibility we had. Before the special started, we were all given 5 bible verses to memorize: Romans 12:1, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 5:18, Philippians 3:14, and Matthew 28:19. There weren't terribly long verses, and a couple were pretty common verses. During a random competition, a staff member would stop one of us and ask us to recite one of those verses. If we couldn't come up with it right away and get it pretty close to bang-on, we would lose a point, or a goal we would just score would be negated. This caused some serious obstacles for some of us at different times, because all the verses get confused and jumbled when we're really tired.

After the 1v1, we moved into an ultimate frisbee tournament, 3 15-minute games of 4 on 4 ultimate frisbee on a fairly big field. Our team had a bit more experience in the ultimate frisbee area, and won each of the three games. We then had a half hour break for supper, altho very few of us had any sort of appetite due to how tired we were, and we were just 6 hours in!

During the break we drove out to Camp Squeah, where the majority of the remaining events took place. We dropped our stuff off at our cabins, and met on the field. The next event combined a best of 7 tug of war competition with various other strength events. Our team was feeling quite confident about this whole thing, having the 2 guys vs their lone guy being the difference. However, we were really starting to feel the exhaustion, so we got together as a team in a tight huddle, and prayed. We prayed for strength, humility, energy, and for a renewed focus as to why we were out there. As much as we all love winning, we wanted to focus on this whole ordeal being a state of worship.

The first tug of war took a bit more than we expected, as the other team put up a good fight, but we pulled it out, and moved into the first strength test. The point was for each team to hold a pushup-like position for as long as they could, one member at a time, and when someone couldn't do it anymore, the next person would start, and so on. I'll be honest, I was disappointed with how long I didn't last, I was hoping to do better, but our team stuck it out, thanks to a gutsy performance by Matt.

Melinda doing the first strength test:


Right after this was done, we moved into the next tug of war, which went much quicker for us. The next strength challenge was holding ourselves up on one side, with one arm. Our knees and hips could not touch the ground. We started with the left side, and our team pulled it out. After the third tug of war went quite quickly again, we did the right side. These tests were quite difficult, but we won the right side as well. We finished up the tug of war in 4 straight, but the last strength test would keep us from the 8 for 8 sweep. We did the wall-sit test, and Cole, the captain of the other team, wowed us all and held on to give their team those points.

The next event was a 12-minute team sit-up competition. Only one member at a time could be doing the sit-ups, so as soon as they were tires, the next member went. We would get a point for every 25 sit-ups we did. We started out with everyone doing a full set of 25, and did that for quite a while, but the last few minutes were real tough and we ended up doing no more than 10 per person. Our team stuck it out, and it was a close match, but we won by no more than 50 sit-ups. That was immediately followed by a 12-minute side step test. We had a log on the ground, and we had to hop over it, back and forth, as many times we could. Just like the sit-ups, one team member went till they were too tired, then the next stepped in, and we just kept that cycle going. We again got a point for every 25 we did, and it was another close match, but our team stuck it out and won.

We then moved into a team juggling competition. Each team member had to start with the ball on the ground and get one shot at juggling. Every team member's total would be added together, and it was a straight up match against the other team. Like I said before, our team was not so good at juggling, and the other team wiped the floor with us! Juggling is a skill in itself, but the added exhaustion of the previous 8 hours and the mental state we were all in added to the difficulties.

I should mention that we didn't have much sunshine throughout the day. By this time it was getting dark anyways, and we hadn't had any downpours or anything, but there was enough drizzle and light rain to make everything quite wet and add to the mental battles we were fighting.

Next we moved into the gym at the camp. We started with basketball, and played 3 15-minute games of 3 on 3. The fourth member of the team would be on the sidelines doing stairs, with a staff member counting how many they did, and we would get points for every 25 we did. Just like the sit-ups and side steps, we would cycle thru each member of the team every minute or so. If we weren't playing basketball, we were doing the stairs, and vice versa. After basketball we did floor hockey, 3 15-minute games, and this time the fourth member was doing pushups, with a point for every 25 we did. The stairs and pushups were very tiring, and they never told us who won those, but it was close. As for the basketball and floor hockey...well...our team of 4 had 2 of the three guys, who also were the tallest of the whole group, as well as 3 of 4 canadians. I had no idea how little floor hockey some of the americans had actually played before, but there was little competition in both sports, and we won both handily.

The AIA staff leading us in Scripture:


The next event was absolutely brutal. The staff told us to come to a cabin, wearing normal clothes, and be ready to just be low key for a while. It was now 11:30, and we were pretty wiped, so naturally we were kinda looking forward to this. Well, we were unpleasantly surprised. We walked in to a puzzle on the floor, one for each team, and a very small area with boundaries marked with tape. We were not allowed to talk or communicate in any way with our team. We were not allowed to lay down, rest on our hands, or do anything except stand, squat, or sit cross-legged, and never have any body part rest against the beds, walls, or be outside the taped boundaries. Anytime we broke one of those rules, we would be deducted points. The worst part of it all, they cranked the thermostat to as high as it could go, about 35-40 degrees celsius. We had the 8 of us plus three staff members in a small cabin, with no windows or doors allowed to be open.
So away we went, working at the puzzle. They told us that this event was worth 200 points, and the other team was still within that margin, so it was very important. The first half hour wasn't so bad, but very soon the heat caught up with us, plus the humidity of 11 people sweating very heavily. On top of that, the staff members were trying to get in our heads, by talking, making noises, being very anal and cruel about point deductions, etc. They got into all of our heads, and it soon turned into a huge mental battle.
At 2 am, after 2.5 hours, we were given the option of letting one team member go to bed for the price of 50 points, but no one took them up on it, because of how many points were at stake.

It's amazing what people, especially athletes, will endure and put themselves thru to not be the one to give in first.

We knew that at 3 am, we would be given the opportunity to leave and go to bed, and if both teams stopped, the team that was farther along on their puzzle would win. However, if one team so decided, they could keep going until they finished the puzzle and win the points. The last hour was torture, and I won't lie, I was pretty useless when it came to the puzzle. I get pretty sore pretty quickly if I'm in one spot for too long, and I also tend to sweat alot, so I was in rough shape. The two girls on my team were champions when it came to the puzzle, so I made myself useful by taking the puzzle box, ripping it in half, and fanning them as they worked. It was a pretty funny sight, I'm sure, but they appreciated it a ton, and I was more than happy to not be squatting and working on that puzzle. At the end of it, I honestly had a puddle underneath me from the dripping sweat. At 3 am, both teams were so wiped that we both stopped, and my team won the points because we were farther along on the puzzle.

The haze in the picture isn't from a bad camera...it was that hot and humid in that room:


Finally, we got to sleep!!!

We all went to bed, but were told that we MUST meet outside at 5:30 am. Now, when I look back, that was a brutally short period of sleep, but at the time, I would have been satisfied with any sort of sleep!

At 5:30, we all met outside, had a quick breakfast, and got right back at it. Our team got together, prayed, and talked about where we were at. It was quite clear that we were way ahead as far a the competition, so we talked about how we should use that to our advantage and forget that whole element. We were at the point now where we could focus on much bigger things, and prayed that God would carry us through the last 6 hours, help us focus, and bless our efforts.

The first thing we did was another one of those 12-minute events, except this time was pushups. Immediately after that, we did another 12-minute test, except with 'burpies', a combo of pushups and jumping up to full extension. These are hard enough as it is, but at 5:45 am with little sleep and very sore muscles, the effort required was compounded. They didn't tell us who won, but both teams were very quickly back at the exhausted state.

We then piled into the cars and drove for about 20 minutes, to a provincial park. The next event was a relay race. We would each run, one team member at a time, down a trail, dribbling the soccer ball, racing against the other team. At three different points, we were stopped by a staff member and asked a Bible verse, and required to do one of three different tasks, either 50 sole taps, 20 hops over the ball, or 30 juggles. After the third staff member, we would turn around and run back to our team. The run was about 20 minutes per person, so it was a decent length. The trail was gorgeous, and we saw waterfalls, rivers, and even ran thru 3 different tunnels carved into the side of the mountain! It was tricky, as the middle of the tunnel was quite dark, to dribble the ball, but it was breathtaking to be in the middle of God's creation like that. I really wish I could have spent more time there and enjoyed the nature, but of course, other things needed to be done. When we weren't running, we would have to be doing star-jumps, kind of like a jumping jack, and we would get points for every 50 that we did. Because we were so tired, both teams were content to take breaks between sets, and the staff allowed it, but we still did almost 2000 star jumps as a team during the whole relay.

After we drove back, it was time for our second last major event. There were 4 stages to this event, and the teams started at different points. My team started with the car-push. We basically gave the car a quick push, it rolled in neutral down a gradual hill, and then the driver turned it around with the momentum it gained. When we caught up to the turned around car, we had to push it back up! This was extremely difficult, and initially I didn't;t think we would get very far. However, our team was quite vocal in encouragement, even singing worship songs together, and at a very slow pace, pushed it all the way back up!! Im still incredibly surprised we managed to, but we did! We then moved to the second stage...
The whole camp is surrounded by mountains, and the staff staggered the stages of this course to be at the bottom, then up the mountain, then at the bottom again, then up the mountain again. We had to run/jog/walk (it was up to us, but we were judged based on our overall time for all 4 stages) The trail was varied in difficulty, but the majority was quite sharply uphill, and we had to all hold the rope as we climbed. The second stage took about 20 minutes to reach, and it was a juggling event. Our team got together, prayed for strength and energy, and for a refocusing again on why we were at this point. We figured out a pan and actually were quite surprised how quickly we accomplished the task! We then climbed back down to the camp base, and met at the playground for the third event. This event was just like we were kids again, having to climb/balance/swing/jump around the whole playground without touching the gravel underneath. It was pretty fun, but Beth and Kayla got some nasty bruises as they didn't make a couple of the jumps initially. It wasn't fun watching that part, but that was the only real difficulty we had. The fourth and final part was back up the trails, then down a long series of very steep steps, and at the site of a gorgeous river/mountainside. We were told that 8 cups were hidden in the bush within a certain grid, and we had 5 minutes to find them. We managed to find all 8, then met back at the original spot. We then had to make our way to the river, doing deep knee lunges, fill up our cups, then come back without spilling any water while still doing the deep knee lunges, and fill up a bucket with water. 2 team member could go at a time, but since we had all 8 cups, it went quite easily! Before we climbed our way back up the steps, then back down to camp, we got together again for another prayer time, totally disregarding the race-element, and reflected on the beauty of the creation around us, thanked God for making Himself so evident, and for continued strength and energy.

Doing the deep lunges:


The team praying:


We made it back to camp before the other team, and had about 20 minutes before our last final event.

Before most of the events, the staff would gather us around, read some Scripture, and say a few words. Throughout the competition, we were not allowed to communicate with them except through our captain. As we gathered for this last event, they all came around us, and read the story of Christ's crucifixion. They told us we were doing our own version of Golgotha, paling in comparison, of course, but we would have absolutely no choice but to give this up to God. We started up the mountain, both teams holding on to the rope as a team. One staff member led the way, at a brisk walk. The rest of the staff followed up behind. What ensued was by far the most exhausting thing I have ever done in my life. We were not allowed to communicate to our team, so no encouragement at all. The staff yelled loudly for us to keep up, as we naturally were exhausted already, and this climb and pace would have tired out anyone at any time. The staff kept pushing, though, and we had no choice but to keep going. It was a narrow trail, with a big drop off on the one side. A couple girls were crying, everyone was absolutely drained. My right quad muscle started to seize about 5 minutes into the climb, and everyone could tell you of the muscles that were cramping up on them. But the climb kept going, the pain kept growing...it was unreal. About 500 meters from the summit, we stopped. A couple of the staff told us to sit down, and read some more bible passages. They talked of how much pain we were in, and what was probably going through our heads. They said we could easily quit, turn around, and climb back down. But they went on to paint this picture of what Christ endured over the last hours of His life. His friends denied Him, He was mocked, beaten, flogged, and bled freely. Everyone turned on Him, and sure, He could have stood up, turned around, and not kept going. Instead, He just kept going, not saying a word.
It's a powerful story in itself, without a doubt. But, hearing it laid out so passionately at the top of the hardest physical/mental battle of our lives so far, was incredibly convicting. If He just kept going, and carried out a task that none of us could even dream about enduring, and God calls us in Romans 12:1 to a spiritual act of worship...why should we not push on to the last 500 meters??
Aaron, the staff leader of the special, encouraged us to reflect on ourselves, what was going through our heads, what was stopping us from wholly giving ourselves up, and truly worshipping Him. What has God called us to, and what does He call us? what name has He given us, in our hearts...son, daughter, child, lamb...?? He called us up, one by one, asked us what name God was putting on our hearts, and wrote it on our arms. I said "Beloved Child"....the last few years of my life have been up and down, and many times I've struggled with my identity, as my own person, and what it means to be a child of God. But at this point, hearing those word spoken, it seemed SO simple. I was a child...His child...and He loved me deeper than I could ever understand. Why should I rely on my own strength, not just in climbing that mountain, but in every day life....why do I get frustrated when I can't complete something, or it just so happens to be out of my control??? "Child" was the name that came to my mind immediately, and the word "Beloved" just spoke to me, it has this unconditional, 'despite my weaknesses' feel to it. Having Aaron write those words on my arm, then walk the last 500 meters on my own to the summit was quite powerful. I started to cry...not because I was absolutely exhausted, altho that might have had something to do with it, but more because I was humbled and in awe of how big and powerful the love of God is, and how real the sacrifice of Jesus is for me....not only 'all Christians' or 'all people', but me...Darren...and what that meant, and how freeing that is.
When we reached the summit, the view was unbelievable. Surrounded by mountains, the 8 of us all sat down and were silent. I think it's fair to say that catching our breath wasn't our primary focus. Rather, it was the realization and reminder of His love and sacrifice.

Reflecting:


After some more Scripture and prayer from the staff, we stood up and began our last event. It was a type of relay, but the last thing on our minds was competition. Each team would send a member, one at a time, down the summit to where we initially stopped. We would then turn around, and run back up...not only leaving absolutely everything physically on that trail, but giving everything that holds us back, and everything we struggle with, in His hands.
I went first for my team, still with tears in my eyes, and ran down. I carried down with me the piece of wood that we had carried up with us. The staff did a turnaround of the last 23 hours, and were loud and vocal in encouragement, spread out on the trail and reading Bible verses as I ran by. When I reached the turn around point, I stopped, looked up, and started running. I was past the point of exhaustion, but every time I thought of walking, I found the energy to keep going. I started singing a song out loud, one that hadn't entered my mind ever in the last month, or I hadn't heard in quite a while.

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, tis now.

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on CalvaryÂ’s tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I'’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
IÂ’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
IÂ’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

This song is one I learned growing up, had heard and sung it many times in church, and always was a favourite. But never before had these word meant so much to me...
As I ran up the summit, there was one last stretch of about 50 meters that was extremely steep, but in plain view of everyone at the top, encouraging me on. The sun was out, it was beautiful. We had been told to put the board across our shoulders at that last stretch, just as a bit of symbolism for us. Obviously not to even try to be in Jesus' place...but it was powerful....



At the top, I passed on the board, and collapsed. I laid there, face down on the ground, absolutely out of breath, but feeling as close and connected and protected and carried by God then I ever have before. Praise God....

One by one, every single person of both teams made their way up, some crying, some demonstrating out loud the exhaustion, but every single person was smiling about 1 minute after they reached the top...

The teams: (left to right) Cole, Matt, Kayla, Beth, Melinda, Darren, Megan, Andy



Thank you Jesus

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Calmer of the Storm....

Currently, I'm out in Langley, BC, staying at Trinity Western. I came out here about a month ago, and am halfway through an internship, not only helping out where I can, doing those jobs that no one else wants to do, but just getting my feet wet in sport ministry and exploring this door that God has opened up for me. It's been a great experience so far, and in just the last 4 weeks, I've already heard and seen first hand stories of God working though the ministry, met, hung out with, and learned from some amazing people, and gotten out into the community.

The last few years have been quite the roller coaster for me. A good friend described it like this, "seasons of hurt and pain, and seasons of outright joy". I think it's a fair assessment. That's not to say that there's been months of only rough times, followed by months of only joy, but I do know that this ride has demonstrated a whole lot to me.

There are definitely times when I can't quite understand why God lays things out like He does, why we struggle, and why He forces us to be so vulnerable. It's probably just pride that stops me from opening up to someone, admitting that I'm struggling. But bigger than that, why do I find it so hard to even talk to God about it? Have we come so far that we fight so hard for control, and put ourselves in a battle that we shouldn't even want to win???

To this day, I go through periods of reflection and discouragement. One of my biggest struggles is with my ability to not let things affect me. I'm real good at putting on a great face, smiling on the outside when I don't want to on the inside, and just switching gears in my head so that I move on to the next thing in line, and forget what I was just really thinking about. This is a great tool some days, when the little things happen and I could easily get frustrated, but rather I just don't let them get to me and I move on. The problem is, though, that I have gotten so good at that, I've really gotten into the mindset of not even dealing with the big things.

In those tough times, I find great peace in laying in bed, headphones on, listening to various worship songs, such as "Calmer of the Storm" by Downhere, "And Now My Lifesong Sings" by Casting Crowns, and "When the Tears Fall", by Tim Hughes. I lay there and just get frustrated with myself, knowing I'm struggling, and again, it's that pride. I don't like struggling, and much less letting other people know I'm struggling, and that's why I am very quick to put on that good face. There's those two or three people that actually know what's going on in my life, otherwise I put on a great face, and I'm pretty sure that good disguise works.

So...

To this day I struggle with everything, trying to sort everything out....where God is leading me, what He requires of me at this point in my life, who I need to be more open with, and what should stay between me and God. But I do need to remember, this life is always going to be one of struggles, but those struggles are not the end of me. Rather, Jesus has already won the war, loves us, and is beside me the whole way.

That, in the words of a friend/champion out here in BC, can be rightfuly dubbed - 'Sweet Action'

Thank you, Jesus

Sometimes I Surprise Myself...

So here I am, after months or years even of staying out of the blog world, creating my own site. I've just gotten into Myspace, so I figured I might as well not stop there, let's get right into the whole internet thing.

If you know me, you know I'm not into philosophy, big words, or all that stuff. Some may even go as far as to say I'm a jock, which may be true, haha, but I like to think I've got more going for me than just sport. I don't intend to bring out and discuss incredibly deep and profound subjects at all. This is much for me as anything else, to give me an opportunity to lay out what's going thru my head, and sort things out. And who knows, maybe some things will strike a chord with someone else, and if so, awesome.

I don't know how regularly I'll post, but I do know that more than ever in my life are things flying through my heart and mind, and I have the time now to sit down and write things out.
 

zinc poisoning